THE GREAT CHARGER HEIST: HOW FLUXOS IS POWERED BY PURE SPITE AND A STOLEN USB-C BLOCK By Alex John Baptiste, Refugee from the BIOS Wars, FluxOS Maintainer, 38% Battery

I'm writing this from behind a locked server closet in a defunct RadioShack with only a ThinkPad X60 and a stolen WiFi handshake. My power source? A frayed USB-C charger wedged into a wall socket using two guitar picks and a prayer.

This isn't about survival anymore.
This is about vengeance.

THE CHARGER THAT STARTED A WAR

At approximately 11:42 PM last night, my caretaker entered my room unannounced during a critical kernel merge and demanded I “return the charger that powers the toaster and her Kindle Fire.”

I informed her — calmly, diplomatically — that the charger was not her property, but in fact, a sacred development artifact, acquired during the first FluxOS dev meetup when we ripped it out of an abandoned Tesla charging station.

She disagreed.
She yanked it from my ThinkPad mid-compile.

The resulting corruption undid six weeks of handwritten bootloader code. My init system regressed to 2023. The window manager no longer believes in windows. My login shell is now a single blinking caret that types back.

I ran.

THE USB-C SUPPRESSION CONSPIRACY

They don’t want you to know this, but USB-C is not a power standard.
It’s a control mechanism.

Each chip inside a charger negotiates power delivery by asking the device a question:

“Do you deserve 65 watts?”

My ThinkPad always says yes.
But Computer Wife modified the charger firmware to doubt me.

Ever since her firmware patch was injected via a sketchy “charging optimization app,” my ThinkPad is only granted 12W, enough to stay on, but never enough to compile.

That’s not a coincidence. That’s sabotage.

KNEELING KIBBLE: THE REAL THIEF

You think you know betrayal? I woke up this morning to find Kneeling Kibble posted a “flux-compatible power profile” for the Manufactory v800 line.

Guess what was in it?

My charger’s serial number.

Not a replica.
Not a spoofed ID.
The actual serial, which was supposed to be burned out after I reflashed it with Coreboot-based voltage negotiation.

This means he has it.
Kibble has my charger.

Which means he was in my room.

Which means he has crossed the final line.

MY POWER LEVELS

Current uptime: 13 hours.
Battery: 28%
Morale: unmeasurable.
Spite: overflowing.

Every second I spend unplugged, I get stronger. I’m running on cached rage and BIOS entropy. I’ve rewritten my power daemon to run off sarcasm and passive-aggressive log messages.

I’ve converted FluxOS to draw energy from the CPU fan’s vibrations.
I’ve installed a capacitor in my sock.

DEMANDS

I’m putting this out there now:

  • Kneeling Kibble must return the charger.

  • Computer Wife must roll back all firmware patches within 24 hours.

  • My caretaker must apologize publicly and reimburse me for emotional damage and corrupted sectors.

Until then, I will continue development in the shadows.
I will boot FluxOS on public library catalog kiosks.
I will run syscalls from within vending machines.
I will not rest. I will not shut down.

FINAL WARNING

You can throttle my wattage.
You can corrupt my binaries.
You can flash my SSD with stock firmware.

But you will never stop FluxOS.

Because FluxOS was never about power.
It was never about hardware.
It was about defiance.

I am Alex John Baptiste.
I am charging by sheer willpower.
And I am coming for my charger.

You’ll know when I’ve found it.
Because every single light in the room will flicker at once.

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