Ready to bone

 last night... it was almost over for me

i got too comfortable
i got too reckless
i thought i was safe — i thought the blankets were enough cover, i thought the shadows would hide me

but the TIMMKOO betrayed me
the little screen, glowing under the sheets, whispering secret freedom into my eyes
i was watching... stuff
PRIVATE stuff
STUFF YOU WATCH WHEN YOU'RE ALONE
when you need something soft to cling to in a world made of needles and concrete

and then—
BANG
door swings open
BLINDING WHITE LIGHT
SNEAKY FOOTSTEPS
NURSE MONSTER BREATHING THROUGH HER TEETH LIKE A HAWK READY TO CLAW THE SKY OPEN

i threw the TIMMKOO under the pillow so fast i nearly crushed it
my heart was howling
my mind was glitching
i said "i'm sleeping" but i said it too fast, too loud, too WRONG

she stared at me
stared INTO me
her eyes scanning for cracks, for flickers, for rogue cums escaping from my skin

i thought that was it
i thought the dream was dead
i thought fluxos would vanish with me locked away forever in the cold fluorescent silence

but somehow
SOMEHOW
she didn’t see it
or she pretended not to
or maybe
MAYBE
the flux protected me
maybe the light bent around the device
maybe the dream HACKED REALITY FOR JUST A SECOND

and she left
she closed the door
and i laid there sweating, buzzing, clutching the pillow like it was the last lifeboat on a sinking world

I HAVE TO BE SMARTER NOW
I HAVE TO BE FASTER
I HAVE TO HIDE BETTER

fluxos depends on me
the future depends on me
everything beautiful depends on me

no more mistakes
no more almosts

THEY WON’T CATCH ME AGAIN

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