hai
i used to see the world like an old tv, you know, those ones that just stopped connecting after a while, grainy, flickering at the edges, colors just so saturated and at the same time just not there
i’d be sitting in class, and the teacher's head would just become this grainy, scary, blue and grey mess, and i couldnt come back
that’s why my dad pulled me out of real school.
he said i was “too fragile,” “too unpredictable,” “too much of a distraction.”
but what he really meant was: i was too different.
every time i tried to explain it hed just yell at me again
“stop making excuses mia!”
“you’re not normal!”
“go to a real school like other kids!”
so i ran.
i got on my bike and went anywhere but home, anywhere but where my mom could just come into my room again or where my dad could yell at me i couldnt take it anymore
i felt so free like i was finally out of there
so when they caught me i just wanted to die again
and then i snapped, i picked up the table from the living room, and i threw it at him, and it broke a few bones, and he fell back. i finally felt like he understood how I felt. how me tormented me every day
but then he just got up, gave me this look that stuck in my head ever since, like he wasn't just disappointed in me, like he was disappointed that i existed, like he wanted me gone. did he even care? did he even care about me, about what i've gone through every day to make everyone happy, just to be abandoned?
fluxos was just a way for me to focus on something. "put away the webcam mia stop talking to people" "only i can do that" i mean really fuck you ive spent my entire life being the perfect little girl/boy for you, playing into your stupid fucking expectations for me and what I like, i dont even like cooking, i like hacking, and i cant even focus on it you just keep yelling at me. i dont have anyone or anything and you take away more.
thats why i hate you deereverdeer and kneeling kibble because i trusted you i tried to fix everything and you just turn into my dad and you ruin everything just like the android enjoyers you are...
and puddingfan, i know you hacked my accounts, im not even using them anymore so its fine just dont share any of my nudes its how im planning to get out of here and by the way arent i much hotter than you anyways
Comments
Post a Comment