I'm launching my own CPU, and you should too.
Let’s cut the fluff. This isn’t just a CPU. It’s a core tsunami , a compiler whisperer , a dev god’s fever dream cast into silicon. Introducing the FluxArch f5-SuperAI 89950XX , running on the all-new LGA8484 socket. This thing doesn’t just run code. It studies it. It remixes it. It corrects you before you make mistakes. And it does it all at 200 watts flat. 🔥 595 CORES. YES, REALLY. Every core in the 89950XX isn’t just a performance thread—it’s a dedicated agent in a decentralized silicon swarm. 64 TensorWarp™ units for native AI model training. 120 IOPsych™ lanes for input/output prediction and self-routing. 411 Coding Maestro Gitcores™ , each one trained on 14 million commits and optimized for live git merge conflict resolution, pull request summarization, and... get this— emotionally aware code reviews . If you've ever pushed bad code on a Friday, the 89950XX knows. And it judges you softly. 🧠 What Are Gitcores™? Imagine a CPU core that: Und...